It’s 8:10 PM, and a certain foodie already ate dinner. It was a lovely seasoned chicken breast sautéed with some herbs in olive oil, coupled with a sensible and healthy side of rice and green beans. Balancing this seemingly healthy meal was a small bowl of chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream. Okay, maybe balancing isn’t the right word. You might think this is enough to satisfy a normal 30-year-old adult male, but you’d probably be wrong. You’re overlooking a very important detail. This adult has a mild, potentially dangerous, but generally constant craving… nay… addiction to a certain food. To satisfy that addiction, he must venture beyond the comfort of his office, his kitchen, and his wife’s approval to a place that is five minutes either north or south of his humble abode. He probably wouldn’t admit it, but that certainly played a role in the purchase of said abode.

Okay, I am finished with my third person. He gets a little annoying from time to time. I am not, however, finished with my confession. I am now, and forever will be, mildly addicted to burritos. Specifically: Chipotle burritos. I’ll give that a second to resonate within you. Did that digest okay? Now that you’ve taken a moment, I ask for an open heart of understanding. For nearly a decade, I have lived within five minutes of no fewer than two Chipotles. You may not find that odd, but I’ve had eight different addresses in that time! Of those addresses, seven were located in different zip codes. Even now, in a town affectionately called “Raytona Beach,” my situation hasn’t changed. To be honest, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Why would I? Chipotle is the one place I can go with a guarantee to satisfy that which I crave. It’s the right thing to do.

Now, you might say a burrito is a burrito. I agree, to a certain extent. All properly made burritos include a tortilla stuffed with whatever your heart desires. I can go to a place like Freebirds, Qdoba, or even (gross) Taco Bell to procure something that resembles a burrito. Let’s face it, though. No one does it the way Chipotle does. It’s sad actually. Freebirds has been in existence for six more years than Chipotle and has a significantly larger number of options. Something just doesn’t add up with them. Qdoba? Don’t make me laugh. Actually, go ahead. I like laughing. No, the only competition Chipotle has in my eyes is that of Illegal Pete’s. They’re in Denver, and I am not, but let’s stay away from that sore subject.

You should probably know I get the same thing from Chipotle nearly every time I venture into their establishment. I’ve listed below what I call “The Sloan-style Chipotle Burrito.” It’s actually boring to some people, but it hits the spot for me every time.

  • Half chicken, half steak (or double meat if I missed breakfast)
  • Brown rice
  • Both types of beans
  • Hot salsa (I’m not a fan of tomato chunks or onions)
  • Sour cream
  • Cheese

Mix that baby up and go. To finalize everything, I add a generous amount of the chipotle Tabasco sauce to every bite but the first. I hold the Tabasco until the second bite so I can savor the bliss produced by the perfectly-seasoned steak and succulent chicken. Then I add the good stuff. Chipotle Tabasco coupled with the hot salsa might be overkill for some. I find the smokiness brings out the best of the already superb ingredients. Even with all that heat, there is still an incredible amount of flavor to enjoy. Oh, the words I could write to describe the electrical signals passing from synapse to synapse in response to each bite. I am both removed from reality and fully aware of my surroundings. Need I continue?

Back at my office, I have spent nearly an hour dreaming of the ecstasy that is a Chipotle burrito. It dawns on me that I should wait until tomorrow or even the weekend to partake. Patience is a stronger virtue than most care to realize. I could go satisfy my craving on a moment’s notice, but it just wouldn’t be the same since I’ve already had dinner. No, it should wait until I’m hungry again, my senses heightened to their greatest potential. Yes, that is the time to savor. That is the best time to satisfy my craving. If only Chipotle served breakfast.

Image by z0 via flickr

Ryan Sloan
Ryan is a bassist and is reduced to single syllable words when hunger strikes. When he's not playing bass, he's probably not playing bass.